Preacher and his ass - Dallas-Mavs.com Forums

dirt_dobber · 07-31-2008, 01:55 PM

A preacher wanted to raise money for his church and on being told that there was a fortune in horse racing, decided to purchase a horse and enter it in the races. However, at the local auction, the going price for horses was so high that he ended up buying a donkey instead. He figured that since he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races. To his surprise, the donkey came in third! The next day the local paper carried this headline: PREACHER''S ASS SHOWS. The preacher was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and this time it won. The paper read: PREACHER''S ASS OUT IN FRONT. The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the preacher not to enter the donkey in another race. The paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PREACHER''S ASS. This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the preacher to get rid of the donkey. The preacher decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The paper headline the next day read: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN. The Bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.00. The next day the headline read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.00. This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey, lead it to the plains, and let it go. Next day, the headline in the paper read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE. The Bishop was buried the next day.

Flacolaco · 07-31-2008, 01:58 PM

Funny, but I thought this was going to about sike...

DirkFTW · 07-31-2008, 02:06 PM

The next day the headline read: FLACO WANTS STORY ABOUT SIKE'S .

edited by: u2sarajevo

Flacolaco · 07-31-2008, 02:08 PM

I guess the fact that sike's custom user title used to say "The Preacha" is a pretty obscure reference, huh?

I'm going to do some work now.

Usually Lurkin · 07-31-2008, 02:10 PM

And then, u2sarajevo take's DirkFTW's @$$

sike · 07-31-2008, 02:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flacolaco

I guess the fact that sike's custom user title used to say "The Preacha" is a pretty obscure reference, huh?

I'm going to do some work now.

"used to"???

funny joke...kinda lame though.

sike · 07-31-2008, 02:44 PM

I'm just relieved its not another Pastor caught with his secretary story....

Flacolaco · 07-31-2008, 02:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sike

I'm just relieved its not another Pastor caught with his secretary story....

I told you I'd keep that quiet.

Flacolaco · 07-31-2008, 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sike

"used to"???

funny joke...kinda lame though.

Oh right. Sorry. I thought it said "Anal probing done right, since 1938"

sike · 07-31-2008, 02:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flacolaco

Oh right. Sorry. I thought it said "Anal probing done right, since 1938"

and I just walked right into that one.....sheesh.

DirkFTW · 07-31-2008, 03:45 PM

I think this is the best spot for this...

Quote:

World's oldest joke traced back to 1900 BC

LONDON (Reuters Life!) - The world's oldest recorded joke has been traced back to 1900 BC and suggests that toilet humor was as popular with the ancients as it is today.

It is a saying of the Sumerians, who lived in what is now southern Iraq and goes: "Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap."

It heads the world's oldest top 10 joke list published by the University of Wolverhampton on Thursday.

A 1600 BC gag about a pharaoh, said to be King Snofru, comes second -- "How do you entertain a bored pharaoh? You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish."

The oldest British joke dates back to the 10th Century and reveals the bawdy face of the Anglo-Saxons -- "What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before? Answer: A key."

"Jokes have varied over the years, with some taking the question and answer format while others are witty proverbs or riddles," said the report's writer Dr Paul McDonald, senior lecturer at the university.

"What they all share however, is a willingness to deal with taboos and a degree of rebellion. Modern puns, Essex girl jokes and toilet humor can all be traced back to the very earliest jokes identified in this research."

The study was commissioned by television channel Dave. The top 10 oldest jokes can be viewed at www.dave-tv.co.uk.

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