Thank you Bill Clinton - Dallas-Mavs.com Forums

Drbio · 07-07-2003, 10:11 AM

Dear Mr. Ex President Clinton:

I recently saw a bumper sticker that said, "Thank me, I voted for Clinton-Gore." So, I sat down and reflected on that, and I am sending my "Thank you" for what you have done, specifically:

1. Thank you for introducing us to Jennifer Flowers, Paula Jones, Monica Lewinsky, Dolly Kyle Browning, Kathleen Willey, and Juanita Broderick. Did I leave anyone out?

2. Thank you for teaching my 8 year old about oral sex. I had really planned to wait until he was a little older to discuss it with him, but now he knows more about it than I did as a senior in college.

3. Thank you for showing us that sexual harassment in the work place (especially the White House) and on the job is OK, and all you have to know is what the meaning of "is" is. It really is great to know that certain sexual acts are not sex, and one person may have sex while the other one does NOT have sex.

4. Thank you for reintroducing the concept of impeachment to a new generation and demonstrating that the ridiculous plot of the movie "Wag the Dog" could be plausible after all.

5. Thanks for making Jimmy Carter look competent, Gerald Ford look graceful, Richard Nixon look honest, Lyndon Johnson look truthful, and John Kennedy look moral.

6. Thank you for the 73 House and Senate witnesses who have pled the 5th Amendment and 17 witnesses who have fled the country to avoid testifying about Democratic campaign fund raising.

7. Thank you, for the 19 charges, 8 convictions, and 4 imprisonment's from the Whitewater "mess" and the 55 criminal charges and 32 criminal convictions (so far) in the other "Clinton" scandals.

8. Thanks also for reducing our military by half, "gutting" much of our foreign policy, and flying all over the world on "vacations" carefully disguised as necessary trips.

9. Thank you, also, for "finding" millions of dollars (I really didn't need it in the first place, and I can't think of a more deserving group of recipients for my hard-earned tax dollars) for all of your globe-trotting. I understand you, the family and your cronies have logged in more time aboard Air Force One than any other administration.

10. Now that you've left the White House, thanks for the 140 pardons of convicted felons and indicted felons-in-exile. We will love to have them rejoin society. (Not to mention the scores you pardoned while Governor of Arkansas)

11. Thanks also for removing the White House silverware. I'm sure that Laura Bush didn't like the pattern anyway. Also, enjoy the housewarming gifts you've received from your "friends."

12. Thanks to you and your staff in the West Wing of the White House for vandalizing and destroying government property on the way out. I also appreciate removing all of that excess weight (China, silverware, linen, towels, ash trays, soap, pens, magnetic compass, flight manuals, etc.) out of Air Force 1. The weight savings means burning less fuel, thus less tax dollars spent on jet fuel. Thank you!

13. And finally, please ensure that Hillary enjoys the $8 million dollar advance for her upcoming "tell-all" book and you, Bill, the $10 million advance for your memoirs. Who says crime doesn't pay!

14. The last and most important point - thank you for forcing Israel to let Mohammed Atta go free. Terrorist pilot Mohammed Atta blew up a bus in Israel in 1986. The Israelis captured, tried and imprisoned him. As part of the Oslo agreement with the Palestinians in 1993, Israel had to agree to release so-called "political prisoners". However, the Israelis would not release any with blood on their hands. The American President at the time, Bill Clinton, and his Secretary of State, Warren Christopher, "insisted" that all prisoners be released. Thus Mohammed Atta was freed and eventually thanked the US by flying an airplane into Tower One of the World Trade Center. This was reported by many of the American TV networks at the time that the terrorists were first identified. It was censored in the US from all later reports. Why shouldn't Americans know the real truth?

What a guy!!

SINCERELY,

A US Citizen

PS. Please pass along a special thank you to Al Gore for "inventing" the Internet, without which I would not be able to send this wonderful, factual e-mail.

Drbio · 07-07-2003, 10:11 AM

oops....this was an email I got today....

Murphy3 · 07-07-2003, 10:22 AM

Thank you for 8 wonderful years...
I'm sure that if he could run again, he'd probably win..again

cookies_n_mavs · 07-07-2003, 10:24 AM

Thank's, Doc..entertaining.

signoftimes · 07-07-2003, 10:40 AM

Thanks for 2 terms that I didn't get laid off in.

Usually Lurkin · 07-07-2003, 11:04 AM

<<Thanks [Pres. Reagan, the internet, and Y2K] for 2 terms that I didn't get laid off in.>>

southern_sweets · 07-07-2003, 12:06 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by: signoftimes
Thanks for 2 terms that I didn't get laid off in.

I agree.

Also, thank you for the Family and Medical Leave Act that made it possible for me to have a healthy pregnancy and carry my twin boys to turm. Under Reagan and Bush Sr. I would have been forced to quit my job losing my health insurance as well.

Evilmav2 · 07-07-2003, 12:16 PM

Thank you for refusing to extradite Osama Bin Laden from the Sudan in 1997...

Chiwas · 07-07-2003, 10:49 AM

If the points are true (I know that some are but I don't know about others) and I was an US American, I would hate Clinton.

dallas_esq · 07-07-2003, 12:09 PM

Thank you Bill Clinton for being a good president, all be it a poor husband and father. UGh, politics?

u2sarajevo · 07-07-2003, 12:16 PM

Thank you for blowing up the aspirin factory.

Drbio · 07-07-2003, 02:33 PM

hee hee....I love how people get pissy when I bash slick willie.

kg_veteran · 07-07-2003, 02:47 PM

Quote:

14. The last and most important point - thank you for forcing Israel to let Mohammed Atta go free. Terrorist pilot Mohammed Atta blew up a bus in Israel in 1986. The Israelis captured, tried and imprisoned him. As part of the Oslo agreement with the Palestinians in 1993, Israel had to agree to release so-called "political prisoners". However, the Israelis would not release any with blood on their hands. The American President at the time, Bill Clinton, and his Secretary of State, Warren Christopher, "insisted" that all prisoners be released. Thus Mohammed Atta was freed and eventually thanked the US by flying an airplane into Tower One of the World Trade Center. This was reported by many of the American TV networks at the time that the terrorists were first identified. It was censored in the US from all later reports. Why shouldn't Americans know the real truth?

Amazing that this wasn't discussed further in the media, especially with the non-stop coverage that "9-11" received for several months after the fact.

Go figure.

dallas_esq · 07-07-2003, 02:45 PM

Equal bashing, that's all I'm looking for. Apparently all the Republican presidents have been GREAT people and presidents. What aspirin factory are we talking about?

kg_veteran · 07-07-2003, 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by: dallas_esq
Equal bashing, that's all I'm looking for. Apparently all the Republican presidents have been GREAT people and presidents. What aspirin factory are we talking about?

If you're looking for equal bashing, then get to bashing. No one's stopping you, if you have something to rip a Republican president for, then do it.

u2sarajevo · 07-07-2003, 03:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by: dallas_esq
Equal bashing, that's all I'm looking for. Apparently all the Republican presidents have been GREAT people and presidents. What aspirin factory are we talking about?

Read all about it here or here or here.

There are more articles on the internet, just do a search for clinton aspirin factory. You'll get TONS of hits.

cookies_n_mavs · 07-07-2003, 02:56 PM

Bash whoever you want, but Willie takes the cake..

Murphy3 · 07-07-2003, 02:59 PM

Thank you President Reagan for passing legislature that would outlaw Russia forever.

u2sarajevo · 07-07-2003, 03:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by: Murphy3
Thank you President Reagan for passing legislature that would outlaw Russia forever.

Amen to that, Murphy3.... when do we begin bombing?

southern_sweets · 07-07-2003, 03:18 PM

Thank you Reagan for saying that the decline in public education is due to school's compliance with court-ordered desegregation. [img]i/expressions/moon.gif[/img]

signoftimes · 07-07-2003, 03:20 PM

Thank you president Reagan for redefining Ketchup as a vegetable. mmmmmmmmm ketchup.

dallas_esq · 07-07-2003, 03:24 PM

Thank you Bush for occupying a foreign nation and embroiling us in a quagmire.

southern_sweets · 07-07-2003, 04:26 PM

My favorite Republican to bash is Evan Mecham.

If you don't remember this clown, he was governor of Arizona from 1987 to 1988. He was impeached before facing a recall election. Over 400,000 signatures were obtained on the recall petition (including mine).

Thank you governor Mecham for cancelling MLK day, concealing campaign contributions, missusing state funds (for your Pontiac dealership), obstructing justice, labeling a newspaper reporter a "non-person," running off over $500 million in convention and tourism business and an estimated $200 million for the Super Bowl that the NFL chose to move from Arizona and for these foot in mouth quotes:

"I'm not against the blacks and a lot of the good blacks will attest to that."

"I'm not a racist...I employ them [blacks] because they are the best people who applied for the cotton-picking job."

"As I was a boy growing up, blacks themselves referred to their children as pickaninnies."

"Well, the N.B.A., I guess they forget how many white people they get coming to watch them play." [Commenting in a Salt Lake City TV interview about the N.B.A. canceling a convention in Phoenix.]

kg_veteran · 07-07-2003, 09:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by: dallas_esq
Thank you Bush for occupying a foreign nation and embroiling us in a quagmire.

Yawn.

Drbio · 07-07-2003, 10:37 PM

Thank you Bush for bringing honor and integrity back to the US armed forces.

u2sarajevo · 07-08-2003, 10:53 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by: Drbio
Thank you Bush for bringing honor and integrity back to the US armed forces.

Amen Doc!!! Amen.

u2sarajevo · 07-07-2003, 04:45 PM

About bashing Republicans.... don't forget Trent Lott, Richard Nixon, Strom Thurmond..... I guess if you are talking about Presidents Richard Nixon would be the most glaring embarrasment.

Chiwas · 07-07-2003, 05:15 PM

Thanks to Nixon, we name all our political scandals with the extension "gate".

u2sarajevo · 07-07-2003, 05:21 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by: Chiwas
Thanks to Nixon, we name all our political scandals with the extension "gate".

RIP

dallas_esq · 07-07-2003, 06:11 PM

Tricky Dick, Two bit politician.

Smiles · 07-07-2003, 07:22 PM

it seems the best defense is to point at the opposition... [img]i/expressions/light.gif[/img]

MFFL · 07-07-2003, 10:45 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by: dallas_esq
Tricky Dick, Two bit politician.

There is an old Vulcan proverb "only Nixon could go to China".

Drbio · 07-07-2003, 10:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by: MFFL

Quote:

Originally posted by: dallas_esq
Tricky Dick, Two bit politician.

There is an old Vulcan proverb "only Nixon could go to China".

You have certainly confused half or more of the board. [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]

MFFL · 07-07-2003, 10:49 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by: Drbio
You have certainly confused half or more of the board. [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]

LOL - I didn't understand it either, I just threw it out there.

Rhylan · 07-07-2003, 11:21 PM

Thank you, Rhylan, for being so damn cool.

veruca salt · 07-07-2003, 11:31 PM

thank you Rhylan for making me laugh. [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif[/img]

Usually Lurkin · 07-08-2003, 07:16 AM

yeah, yeah, enough with the warm fuzzies, Rhylan and Veruca.

Quote:

Thank you Bush for occupying a foreign nation and embroiling us in a quagmire.

yeah. and thanks JFK for the same thing. and thanks Clinton for making it most recently necessary.

and thanks to all the democrats for taking all our money. We're all morons who wouldn't know how to spend it.

dallas_esq · 07-08-2003, 10:32 AM

OK, So Clinton is responsible for the problems in the middle east? They are mad at us because we went to Kuwait, the terrorists will be the first to tell you, that is on the top of their list of why they hate us. We don't belong over there, never did. Daddy Bush is the reason all of this came to a head when it did, the reason for 9.11. We don't go to Kuwait, no 9/11, no occupation of Iraq, no worries. They DON'T WANT US there. But here we go. I hope you guys are still supportive when we are backing out of there having lost many American lives, and having endured attacks at home, and having our freedom all but taken away by the Department of Homeland Security.

Usually Lurkin · 07-08-2003, 10:48 AM

Thank you left-wing press for giving us such a clear view of world affairs.

mattyd · 07-21-2003, 11:10 PM

I feel no need to be cute or witty. Instead, I'll be blunt: George W. Bush (and most hardcore right-wingers, for that matter) are fucking douche bags.