Madape's proposal: balance and bastards

[madape]

It has been said by many that this maverick team is too "nice" and too "soft" to win a championship. As Nick Van Exel proved last spring, playoff teams need players who don't take shit from nobody, who bring the confidence and swagger of a champion, and who don't mind saying "Fuck You" right some punk's stinking mug. Every team needs some kind of balance between the softies and the thugs. With most NBA teams, a guy like Nick would be enough to take care of the "thug" side of the equation. But with the multitude of daisy-picking boy-scouts the Mavs seem to have aquired over the years, we need to go "bastard" to the EXTREME. There are incredibly talented guys out there who teams won't touch because of their reputation for being a "bad-boy". I say, hell yeah! The badder the better!

So here is mad-ape's three step off-season program for an INFUSION of the talent and attitude we need to take us to the next level.

Step one:


Offer Derrick Coleman the full exception. There should be no argument. He is the most talented member of this big man free-agent class. Forget about Malone, Mourning, Miller, Nesterovic, or the Kandiman. Coleman is the best. He's big. He's athletic. He can score at will. He can defend. He can rebound. He can block shots. He can run the floor. The man is a freak of nature. If you give him 35 minutes a game here and feed him the ball, you are looking at 20 points, 10 rebounds, 2 blocks. It's that simple.

Step two:



Sign Roy Tarpley to whatever it takes - I think the Mavs can sign him without dipping into their exception. For the newbies to Mavs-fan land, The man is a horse. He is easily the best center in franchise history, and he'd be the best big man on the team right now. A physical defensive presense big enough and strong enough to go against the best that the Western conference has to offer (and he doesn't mind dropping 30 points on fools every now and then either). Forget about Don Carter and his Nancy Reagan "Just say No" mission statement of the late 80s. This is the year 2003. If you don't drink a little or smoke a little, people think there's something wrong with you. Tarp was and still is a better talent than Rasheed Wallace, Marcus Camby, and Chris Webber, yet those guys don't care WHO knows they smoke weed. If Tarp started his career in the mid 90s, smoked the same amount of dope and snorted the same amount of coke, he'd go scott-free and be the seven time all-star his talent deems that he would be. He was a man playing out of his era, waiting for the world to catch up to him. Now that it has, it is Tarp's time to shine.

Step three:


Sign J.R. Rider to the veteran minimum. If you look up Rider in the dictionary, here's what you'd read: Offensive EXPLOSION!!!!! Here's a question: What do you do when you are down by 10 points with five minutes left in the game? Simple. Bring in Rider and watch the lead disappear! The man can score on anyone, anywhere, anytime. Plus, he smokes pot. A shit load of pot. So sign him up, and we've got that base covered.

Our new 15-man roster
PG: Nash/Nick/Marquis/Avery
SG: Finley/Rider/Abdul-Wahad
SF: Dirk/Howard
PF: Coleman/Raef/Najera
C: Tarpley/Bradley/Esch

That equals:
6 boys scouts (Nash, Fin, Dirk, Raef, Bradley, Esch)
4 bastards (Nick, Coleman, Tarp, Rider)
2 rookies (Howard, Daniels)
1 washed up veteran (AJ)
2 wierd foreign dudes (Najera, Abdul-Wahad)

Unmatched skillz
Perfect balance

[Ummmmm Ok]

*slapping knee comedy*

[OutletPass]

LMAO at that one MAD !!!! Too funny !!!

While we're at it, let's get Raef a sex change, trade him to the WNBA...and get Lisa Leslie in here...that'll provide some estrogen balance.

[FilthyFinMavs]

I'd take Coleman. No sacarsm intended.

[foglemann]

WOW, bring on those ''BASTARDS"

that was one of your best madape

[uberfan]

Originally posted by: FilthyFinMavs
I'd take Coleman. No sacarsm intended.

Yes, and it may take the full MLE. Pistons are supposedly offering 2 years at $3MM.

[Chiwas]

Sorry, but even when Najera is a weird (maybe cause he doesn't smoke), and also a foreigner certainly, he is a Thug. Please make the correction.

Hey, OP, I liked the "estrogen balance". However, I have doubts about Raef making it in the WNBA.

[Fah Q]

I'm sorry but I think I might be an idiot but I wouldn't mind seeing Rider or Tarpley on our IR. And bring on DC we could use him. and by the way trade that little bitch named raef as soon as possible.

I know I'm new so this really diminishes my credit. Madape can get away with this I don't know if I can.

[MavKikiNYC]

Is that Derrick Coleman or Gary Coleman?

[jacktruth]

You forgot one guy. . .

[Bayliss]

Laugh all you want madape. But you know as well as I do that Derrick Coleman is a much better player than Raef. And Coleman would have a much bigger impact on the court than Raef.

[FilthyFinMavs]

Originally posted by: Bayliss
Laugh all you want madape. But you know as well as I do that Derrick Coleman is a much better player than Raef. And Coleman would have a much bigger impact on the court than Raef.

Agreed.

[madape]

Coleman isn't just the best choice, he's the only choice. If you would have asked me before the season, I would have told you that I wanted was Karl Malone. If that didn't work out, I'd want Coleman. Talent wise, he's excactly what the Mavs need. I can't believe I haven't heard his name come up once from Cuban and the Mavs. It makes too much sense to ignore the second most talented big man in this free-agent class. We screwed up by passing on Malone. Let's not screw up again by passing on Coleman.

[Simon2]

How the mighty have fallen. Are the Mavs considering Coleman? Isn't he too old and selfish? I'd give Raef another chance before Coleman.

[Simon2]

Look at the Rider pic closely. It looks like a deadball since the Lakers are walking away.

[FilthyFinMavs]

Originally posted by: Simon2
How the mighty have fallen. Are the Mavs considering Coleman? Isn't he too old and selfish? I'd give Raef another chance before Coleman.

But you aren't trading Raef for Coleman. You are signing Coleman and I think he would be a good fit. I'm just not sure if he would last the run and gun and style.

[Rhylan]

I'd still take Rodman. At any age. I'd take him. Just as long as he plays his guts out on the court.

[one long blue sock]

Originally posted by: Rhylan
I'd still take Rodman. At any age. I'd take him. Just as long as he plays his guts out on the court.

i second that.

[jayC]

I think raef's a much better talent then coleman, but at least you know what you get from coleman. Raef either has a great game or a bad game nothing imbetween. I think our best hope's at the trading deadline where atlanata maybe more willing to trade guys like terry, ratliff and even rahim. As far as thugs go artest leads the way too bad the mavs didn't trade for him.

[mnmpeanut]

this is some funny stuff, but i am on board with you about dc.

This is the year 2003. If you don't drink a little or smoke a little, people think there's something wrong with you.

unfortunately, you are more right than you know.

[OutletPass]

Won't anyone else get behind the Raef for Lisa Leslie Trade ?
If we were also able to get Chamique Holdsclaw and Lisa, would that help ?

[Chicago JK]

Originally posted by: OutletPass
Won't anyone else get behind the Raef for Lisa Leslie Trade ?
If we were also able to get Chamique Holdsclaw and Lisa, would that help ?

I think you have to go after ex duncanville grad, Tamika Catchings[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif[/img]

[jayC]

That reminds me of the Conan Obrien bit in the year 2000. As far as thugs go brian grant mgiht fit that bill, a little expensive but gives us what we don't have. Maybe Coleman could give raef and bradley a kick in the ass everyonce iin awhile. I heard bradley used to wear a size 15 shoe three sizes too small for him, obviously thats where some of that stiffness comes from.

As long as your on thuggery rampage thomas for bradley. Seriously is thier a whiter front court in the entire league.

[Hitman]

Originally posted by: madape
It has been said by many that this maverick team is too "nice" and too "soft" to win a championship. As Nick Van Exel proved last spring, playoff teams need players who don't take shit from nobody, who bring the confidence and swagger of a champion, and who don't mind saying "Fuck You" right some punk's stinking mug. Every team needs some kind of balance between the softies and the thugs. With most NBA teams, a guy like Nick would be enough to take care of the "thug" side of the equation. But with the multitude of daisy-picking boy-scouts the Mavs seem to have aquired over the years, we need to go "bastard" to the EXTREME. There are incredibly talented guys out there who teams won't touch because of their reputation for being a "bad-boy". I say, hell yeah! The badder the better!

So here is mad-ape's three step off-season program for an INFUSION of the talent and attitude we need to take us to the next level.

Step one:


Offer Derrick Coleman the full exception. There should be no argument. He is the most talented member of this big man free-agent class. Forget about Malone, Mourning, Miller, Nesterovic, or the Kandiman. Coleman is the best. He's big. He's athletic. He can score at will. He can defend. He can rebound. He can block shots. He can run the floor. The man is a freak of nature. If you give him 35 minutes a game here and feed him the ball, you are looking at 20 points, 10 rebounds, 2 blocks. It's that simple.

Step two:



Sign Roy Tarpley to whatever it takes - I think the Mavs can sign him without dipping into their exception. For the newbies to Mavs-fan land, The man is a horse. He is easily the best center in franchise history, and he'd be the best big man on the team right now. A physical defensive presense big enough and strong enough to go against the best that the Western conference has to offer (and he doesn't mind dropping 30 points on fools every now and then either). Forget about Don Carter and his Nancy Reagan "Just say No" mission statement of the late 80s. This is the year 2003. If you don't drink a little or smoke a little, people think there's something wrong with you. Tarp was and still is a better talent than Rasheed Wallace, Marcus Camby, and Chris Webber, yet those guys don't care WHO knows they smoke weed. If Tarp started his career in the mid 90s, smoked the same amount of dope and snorted the same amount of coke, he'd go scott-free and be the seven time all-star his talent deems that he would be. He was a man playing out of his era, waiting for the world to catch up to him. Now that it has, it is Tarp's time to shine.

Step three:


Sign J.R. Rider to the veteran minimum. If you look up Rider in the dictionary, here's what you'd read: Offensive EXPLOSION!!!!! Here's a question: What do you do when you are down by 10 points with five minutes left in the game? Simple. Bring in Rider and watch the lead disappear! The man can score on anyone, anywhere, anytime. Plus, he smokes pot. A shit load of pot. So sign him up, and we've got that base covered.

Our new 15-man roster
PG: Nash/Nick/Marquis/Avery
SG: Finley/Rider/Abdul-Wahad
SF: Dirk/Howard
PF: Coleman/Raef/Najera
C: Tarpley/Bradley/Esch

That equals:
6 boys scouts (Nash, Fin, Dirk, Raef, Bradley, Esch)
4 bastards (Nick, Coleman, Tarp, Rider)
2 rookies (Howard, Daniels)
1 washed up veteran (AJ)
2 wierd foreign dudes (Najera, Abdul-Wahad)

Unmatched skillz
Perfect balance

Kudos for Madape for taking a shot! Thats what I like to see! Although I don't agree with it, it was entertaining. (especially the part about 2 weird foreign dudes)

[Hitman]

Funny thing about Coleman is that when he was in his second year with the Nets, he proclaimed that he had taken the mantle of "Best Power Forward in the Game" from Karl Malone and he was the new generation.

Funny that Coleman is about washed up and Malone is still more coveted than he is.

That said, I would still take him but giving him the full exception is absurd. I would rather sign him to a small one or two year deal than trade Raef for Kurt Thomas.

[Murphy3]

bump

[dude1394]

Thanks murph.... Good grief this guy is a riot.

[madape]

Those sons of bitches didn't listen to me. Now look what we're stuck with. A bunch of pansy-boy prima-donnas.

[chumdawg]

This thread makes me, not having been on this board last summer, rethink my Top Five list of things I most regret in life. This just might bump "dropping out of school in the sixth grade" right off the list.

Pure genius, you furious Bradley lover. My personal favorite: Rider: "Plus, he smokes pot. A shit load of pot." Pure, unmitigated GENIUS.

[Speedy]

With all the Artest talk, I thought this thread deserved its annual bump. One of my all-time favorite threads. + rep to the ape

[Usually Lurkin]

well, we've got more wierd foreign dudes now.

6 boys scouts (Dirk, Howard, Dampier, Terry, Van Horn, Daniels)
1/2 a bastard (Stackhouse)
3 rookies(Marshall, Powell, Harris)
2 washed up veterans (Armstrong, Griffin)
3 wierd foreign dudes (Diop, Dj, Pavel)

we could still get Rider, Coleman, and Tarpley cheap.

[madape]

We need more bastards

[chumdawg]

Bump. The Ape has amazing foresight.

[alexamenos]

Instead of balance and bastards what we got was pure, unadulterated and unfiltered Don Nelson genius -- the penultimate Don Nelson Season, 2003-2004.

....Antoine Walker at the point guardforward position and Dirk Nowitzki at the 5.

but I'm sure that season was all mark cuban's fault.

[Knickfan]

this is hilarious.

[ballin_boi]

This years list of bastards we should consider.

Artest
Bowen
Billups
O'Neal


Karl Malone for the MLE?

Bob Sapp for the LLE? Then we just send him into the game to beat the crap out of someone and get ejected.

[bobatundi]

Originally Posted by ballin_boi

Bob Sapp for the LLE? Then we just send him into the game to beat the crap out of someone and get ejected.

I thought that's why we kept DJ MBenga around.

[alexamenos]

The sad thing about this thread is that Roy Tarpley is still the best center the Mavs have ever had.

[Flacolaco]

The only thing I see here that interests me, is that those images he posted in 7/2003 are still valid links.

Oh and Roy Tarpley.

[alexamenos]

Originally Posted by Flacolaco

The only thing I see here that interests me, is that those images he posted in 7/2003 are still valid links.

The thing that interests me is "why do so many folks view Nelson through rose-colored glasses?" And I don't just mean the obvious folks around here, but also the Randy Galloways and Dale Hansons of the world.

2003-2004 was for all intents and purposes the last real Don Nelson team. Anybody wanna argue otherwise? If so, start by telling me how letting Nash walk and signing Damp to a big dollar multi-year deal was Don Nelson's idea.

The '03-'04 team was arguably the culmination of Don Nelson's efforts, and it was just painful to watch at times. For all the talk of how Avery Johnson was handed a 60 win team and how the '06-'07 team was built by Don Nelson we should be reminded that only Dirk Nowitzki and Josh Howard were on that '03-'04 team.

When Don Nelson took the team over in 1997 he had 3 very young, top 5 over-all draft picks on the team. One of those was damn near MVP caliber who carried another team to an NBA finals more often than Steve Nash has carried a team to the finals.

The point is, the Mavs weren't a talentless team when Don Nelson took over. They were a team with some young but very high pedigree guys who were being coached by Jim Friggin' Cleamons. The '00 turnaround of the Mavs wasn't simply the result of Nelson miracle working but the result of a decade of the Mavericks getting very very high draft picks.

...and speaking of draft picks, lot's of love to Nelie and Company for the Dirk thing. Then there's J-Ho -- don't give Nelson too much credit for the Howard pick -- the Mavs happened to be standing where Josh Howard fell. Beyond j-ho and dirk, name a Don Nelson draft pick.

<crickets>

Nelson was here 8 years, surely we can think of another pick or two?

Wang Zhi Zhi -- that's a nellie pick for you. Eddie Najera -- there's a pretty nice utility kind of guy. Good value for a 2nd rounder.

The funny thing about Eddie is he was the fourth guy nellie picked that 2000 class -- the mavs had 2 picks in the top half o the first round and another late first round pick...Etan Thomas, Courtney Alexander and Donnel Harvey. Those two top-half of the first round picks could be hitting the prime of their career right now, but the mavs have nothing to show for it.

But back to the '03-'04 team -- one of the reasons that team was so butt-itching unpleasant was because the team had to do whatever it could to get out from under the raef lafrentz long-term deal....Raef Lafrentz, the best center Don Nelson ever put on the team (only because Shawn Bradley was the 2nd best center Don Nelson ever put on the team).

Lafrentz didn't rebound, didn't play good post defense, couldn't really score inside, and fouled out quicker than Damp on his worst day....but he could shoot the trey. 7 years, $10+ million a year for a 7 footer that could shoot 35% from arc.....Nellie ball, and in many ways we're still paying for nellie ball.

anyway, I'm rambling.......for all the miracle working love giving to Nelson, the facts are that he inherited a team with some talent, he made some good picks and trades but also squandered quite a bit, and at the end of his stay he had an underachieving and chemistry-less team that really did play some clown-ball.

so..........

the '06-'07 team was not the team that nellie built, tho it bore some scares from his era.

the '03'-'04 team was truly the team that nellie built, for better or worse.

Cheers