You might be a Republican if... - Dallas-Mavs.com Forums

reeds · 08-25-2003, 05:36 PM

-You think "proletariat" is a type of cheese.

-You've named your kids "Deduction one" and "Deduction two"

-You've tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were just allowed to keep more of their minimum
wage.

-You've ever referred to someone as "my (insert racial or ethnic minority here) friend"

-You've ever tried to prove Jesus was a capitalist and opposed to welfare.

-You're a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty.

-You think Huey Newton is a cookie.

-The only union you support is the Baseball Players, because heck, they're richer than you.

-You think you might remember laughing once as a kid.

-You once broke loose at a party and removed your neck tie.

-You call mall rent-a-cops "jack-booted thugs."

-You've ever referred to the moral fiber of something.

-You've ever uttered the phrase, "Why don't we just bomb the sons of bitches." (My personal favorite)

-You've ever said, "I can't wait to get into business school."

-You've ever called a secretary or waitress "Tootsie."

-You answer to "The Man."

-You don't think "The Simpsons" is all that funny, but you watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of
sense.

-You fax the FBI a list of "Commies in my Neighborhood."

-You don't let your kids watch Sesame Street because you accuse Bert and Ernie of "sexual deviance."

-You scream "Dit-dit-ditto" while making love.

-You've argued that art has a "moral foundation set in Western values."

-When people say "Marx," you think "Groucho."

-You've ever yelled, "Hey hippie, get a haircut."

-You think Birkenstock was that radical rock concert in 1969.

-You argue that you need 300 handguns, in case a bear ever attacks your home.

-Vietnam makes a lot of sense to you.

-You point to Hootie and the Blowfish as evidence of the end of racism in America.

-You've ever said civil liberties, schmivil schmiberties.

-You've ever said "Clean air? Looks clean to me."

-You've ever called education a luxury.

-You look down through a glass ceiling and chuckle.

-You wonder if donations to the Pentagon are tax-deductable.

-You came of age in the '60s and don't remember Bob Dylan.

-You own a vehicle with an "Ollie North: American Hero" sticker.

-You're afraid of the liberal media."

-You ever based an argument on the phrase, "Well, tradition dictates..."

-You ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch "lives in a trash can because he is lazy and doesn't want to contribute
to society."

-You've ever urged someone to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, when they don't even have shoes.

-You confuse Lenin with Lennon.

u2sarajevo · 08-25-2003, 05:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by: reeds -You've named your kids "Deduction one" and "Deduction two"

You must be kidding, right? I don't want to get into this one with you because alot of ugly things will come out but that is crap to say that about anyone and to attribute it to being a Republican is just pure stupidity.

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-You've ever referred to someone as "my (insert racial or ethnic minority here) friend"

That is classy. So all Republicans are racists? Is that what you are trying to say?

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-You're a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty.

Oh jeez... you are going to hit all three of the one's I would not list on the Democrat list aren't you? I am a pro-lifer and am STAUNCHLY against capital punishment. But since you opened the can of worms, you can add number 28 on the other list to: 28. It is Murder to Murder Murderers (which I agree) but it is not Murder to Murder the unborn.

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-The only union you support is the Baseball Players, because heck, they're richer than you.

The only union I support is the one that makes Beer. [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]

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-You think you might remember laughing once as a kid.

I laugh my ass off at your stupidity every time you post.

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-You've ever called a secretary or waitress "Tootsie."

So Republicans are womanizers too? Does this one apply to woman Republicans?

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-You're afraid of the liberal media."

I have never met a Republican politician that was afraid of the liberal media. Don't understand that one.

Quote:

-You ever based an argument on the phrase, "Well, tradition dictates..."

-You ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch "lives in a trash can because he is lazy and doesn't want to contribute
to society."

-You've ever urged someone to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, when they don't even have shoes.

-You confuse Lenin with Lennon.

That one sucked compared to the Democrat list. But hey, for a Democrat making the list up, it ain't bad at all. Considering.

Smiles · 08-25-2003, 06:17 PM

LOL those are funny, Reeds. [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]

But I thought madape's "sweaty $40" was indecently hilarious (and mortifying), so what do I know?

edit: Why does Oscar the Grouch live in a trash can? Because no one bought him a way out? [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]

veruca salt · 08-25-2003, 06:19 PM

you're not serious are you U2?
Surely you have more sense than that!

u2sarajevo · 08-25-2003, 06:22 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by: veruca salt
you're not serious are you U2?
Surely you have more sense than that!

Deadly.

Rhylan · 08-25-2003, 06:31 PM

Just felt like tossing a few back here, for fun ONLY! [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif[/img]

Quote:

-You've named your kids "Deduction one" and "Deduction two"

Word to this. A couple years ago, while I was still in school, but my parents weren't paying for anything, they got a $500 credit for me, but I owed $200 of my own taxes. So I made 'em pay it [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif[/img] Capitalism, baby, it works.

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-You've ever tried to prove Jesus was a capitalist and opposed to welfare.

Jesus probably wasn't down with the pharoahs redistributing income, tho, either [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif[/img]

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-You're a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty.

This is too easily flipped the other way. I think they're both inconsistent. I'm anti-abortion, anti-death penalty, but I respect the rights of the people to put folks in office who support people's choice on both.

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-You've ever said, "I can't wait to get into business school."

You might be a liberal if you've been disappointed in the lack of marketable skills your BS in History gave you. [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img] But hell, 4 year business degrees are useless, too.

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-When people say "Marx," you think "Groucho."

You might be a liberal if when people say "Marx," you think "hero."

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-You argue that you need 300 handguns, in case a bear ever attacks your home.

Nope, but we've got a good half-dozen, and it sure helps with the armadillos and 'possums, yo.

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-You look down through a glass ceiling and chuckle.

You might be a liberal if you look down through a glass ceiling and claim to have already removed it 11 years ago [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]

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-You ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch "lives in a trash can because he is lazy and doesn't want to contribute to society."

Even in good ol' touchy-feely community Sesame Street, Oscar never left the damn can. Why? Because everybody catered to his grouchy ass while he was in there complaining! [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif[/img]

Smiles · 08-25-2003, 06:43 PM

LOL this is my favorite thread in a long time. [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img] [img]i/expressions/lips.gif[/img][img]i/expressions/moon.gif[/img]

Drbio · 08-25-2003, 07:04 PM

Quote:

-You think you might remember laughing once as a kid.

-You once broke loose at a party and removed your neck tie.

These two actually made me laugh.

one long blue sock · 08-25-2003, 07:26 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by: u2sarajevo

Quote:

-You think you might remember laughing once as a kid.

I laugh my ass off at your stupidity every time you post.

Oh that was pure enjoyment

reeds · 08-25-2003, 07:43 PM

Looks like I may have hit a nerve, huh U2???? And please dont say it doesnt compare to the democrat list- because you know its better!!!hahahahahahah

u2sarajevo · 08-25-2003, 07:49 PM

Actually to be honest reeds I didn't like either of them. I hate the liberal/conservative drivel that is thrown at both sides. I am very conservative, but usually keep my views to myself unless provoked to express them. Your post came at a particularly bad time and I am sorry. I did not mean to be mean spirited, it must be that right-wing conspiracy coming out in me. [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]

But anyhoo...... I like to talk politics as long as it is done in a civil manner.

But I won't talk with you (about politics) because you always get too passionate about it (which is a good trait IMO). I do too, so more than likely it would not be a civil discussion.

Is that cool?

reeds · 08-25-2003, 08:38 PM

I have to agree U2, I really get passionate about my politics too..I really do try to keep it civil for the most part, but sometimes I admit i get a bit too personal. I will do my best to keep it respectful and clean. I am not here to attack anyone personally. I do know i am in the minority on this board, perhaps that is why I get a bit too uncivil....

veruca salt · 08-25-2003, 08:57 PM

liberal/conservative lovefest 2003.....

FishForLunch · 08-25-2003, 09:45 PM

Have you noticed that all the top positions in the DNC are held by White democrats. I guess it is enough to just feel minorities pain. May they think "minorites" will not be able to handle all that power.

u2sarajevo · 08-25-2003, 10:09 PM

Fish... you never help in the civility department.

[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-shocked.gif[/img]

southern_sweets · 08-25-2003, 11:11 PM

-You own 3 or more $50,000+ cars, a 1/2 million+ home, send your kids to private school and refer to yourself as middle-class.

Smiles · 08-25-2003, 11:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by: southern_sweets
-You own 3 or more $50,000+ cars, a 1/2 million+ home, send your kids to private school and refer to yourself as middle-class.

Not if you're from CA! The home you buy for $100k in NE Texas cost you $500k in San Diego County. [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]

edit. meaning: in that case you could be of either party. [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]

Usually Lurkin · 08-26-2003, 09:14 AM

funny list, Ummmm. Some of those made me laugh out loud. Here's some of my responses:

-You think "proletariat" is a type of cheese.
-You might be a liberal if you don't understand that Marxism is cheesy

-You've ever tried to prove Jesus was a capitalist and opposed to welfare.
-You might be a liberal if you've ever argued that Jesus wasn't really christian.

-You're a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty.
-You might be a liberal if you've ever thought about saying, "well, maybe it's better if we kill them before they have a chance to do anything wrong."

-You've ever referred to the moral fiber of something.
-You might be a liberal if you don't know what "moral fiber" means.

-You fax the FBI a list of "Commies in my Neighborhood."
-You might be a liberal if you fax the ACLU a list of "Active Christians in my Neighborhood."

-You've argued that art has a "moral foundation set in Western values."
-You might be a liberal if you think that moral foundations are set by artists.

-You think Birkenstock was that radical rock concert in 1969.
-You might be a liberal if you're willing to pay $80 for a pair of sandals so you can look like a radical from 1969.

-You argue that you need 300 handguns, in case a bear ever attacks your home.
-You might be a liberal if you'd rather let the commie jackbooted thugs protect your home than do it yourself.

-You look down through a glass ceiling and chuckle.
-You might be a liberal if on more than one occasion, you've looked down through the glass ceiling to tell someone that this time you are serious about removing it if they'll just send you some more money.

-You're afraid of the liberal media."
-You might be a liberal if you're afraid the liberal media is disappearing.

-You ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch "lives in a trash can because he is lazy and doesn't want to contribute to society."
-You might be a liberal if you've ever told a child Oscars in a trashcan because the government doesn't give PBS enough money.

-You confuse Lenin with Lennon.
-You might be a liberal if you're not sure which one to name your kid after.

Drbio · 08-26-2003, 12:43 PM

LOL Lurkin...OMG....

reeds · 08-26-2003, 01:02 PM

got to add this one....
...you want to bomb Iraq because they may have weapons of mass destruction (oil)...but give North Korea who has weapons of mass destruction a pass (no oil).

reeds · 08-26-2003, 01:03 PM

ok..one more?!
you think entertainers such as Barbara Streisand and Alec Baldwin should stay out of politics and that entertainers like Arnold Schwarzeneggar and Bruce Willis should run for office, yet see nothing hypocritical bout holding these two views.

jacktruth · 08-26-2003, 01:04 PM

Quote:

You've ever referred to the moral fiber of something

Something a democrat could never do with integrity.

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-You've ever called a secretary or waitress "Tootsie."

I wonder what words Bill Clinton used.

jacktruth · 08-26-2003, 01:09 PM

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-You might be a liberal if you've ever told a child Oscars in a trashcan because the government doesn't give PBS enough money.

-Excellent work!

reeds · 08-26-2003, 01:20 PM

this if for jacktruth...
you condemn Bill Clinton for lying about oral sex, but it is alright if Oliver North blatantly lies about Iran-Contra

reeds · 08-26-2003, 01:22 PM

and this...
you think Bill Clinton's penis is the root of all evil

reeds · 08-26-2003, 01:24 PM

and what really kills you is the fact the Clinton won 2 elections- fair and square- with the popular vote too I might add...hahahah

jacktruth · 08-26-2003, 02:09 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by: reeds
this if for jacktruth...
you condemn Bill Clinton for lying about oral sex, but it is alright if Oliver North blatantly lies about Iran-Contra

I don't remember supporting Oliver North, nor was Oliver North president of the United States.

So what's your point?

Drbio · 08-26-2003, 02:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by: reeds
and this...
you think Bill Clinton's penis is the root of all evil

According to Monica Lewinsky, calling it a root is probably upsizing things a bit. [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]

jacktruth · 08-26-2003, 02:13 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by: reeds
and what really kills you is the fact the Clinton won 2 elections- fair and square- with the popular vote too I might add...hahahah

If I remember right, it is the electoral college that elects the President, so that is how candidates campaign. If it was by popular vote, Bush would have spent all his time in Texas and would have won the popular vote too.

I kills me how democrats insinuate that W. is an illegal president, but somehow, someway he is president.

I suppose if it benefited democrats, they would simply change the consitution back and forth between electoral college and popular vote elections, depending on the outcome.

jacktruth · 08-26-2003, 02:19 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by: reeds
and this...
you think Bill Clinton's penis is the root of all evil

Actually, I think satan, the father of lies, is the root of all evil.

u2sarajevo · 08-26-2003, 02:23 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by: Drbio

Quote:

Originally posted by: reeds
and this...
you think Bill Clinton's penis is the root of all evil

According to Monica Lewinsky, calling it a root is probably upsizing things a bit. [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]

I can't believe I am doing this......

I heard she preferred the cigar. [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-shocked.gif[/img]

And that Clinton needed to curve it around......

reeds · 08-26-2003, 02:49 PM

...you think it was morally wrong for Saddam to gas his own people but morally right for Bush to bomb them .

Not all- but many Republicans beleive the above statement is true...are you one of them?? Most in here are...

u2sarajevo · 08-26-2003, 03:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by: reeds
...you think it was morally wrong for Saddam to gas his own people but morally right for Bush to bomb them .

Not all- but many Republicans beleive the above statement is true...are you one of them?? Most in here are...

That is Chicken S reeds. Our intent was not to bomb Saddams "people". Our intent was to bomb the living hell out of Saddam's infiltry and hopefully Saddam himself, thus ridding his "people" of the burden of having to live under the tyrrany of his rule.

Get a life.

reeds · 08-26-2003, 03:09 PM

Well, common sense tells you that innocent people will be killed in war, no matter how much intelligence/technology we have. So saying we intended to kill Sadaam and NO one else is also chicken S__t in my opinion..

Drbio · 08-26-2003, 03:20 PM

Come on reeds. What were they supposed to say? We are going to bomb the crap out of whoever is there? It was a very sanitary war. The most sanitary in the history of warfare. I'd say on that point we did pretty well. It is true that innocent civilians were killed...children too, but unfortunately, war is not a completely sanitary matter.

reeds · 08-26-2003, 03:48 PM

Yes, it was the most sanitary, I wont disagree with that. Bottom line is innocent life was lost, and more and more of our soldiers are dying daily... War is not my answer

u2sarajevo · 08-26-2003, 03:57 PM

So is your answer to let Saddam kill his own people and us to turn a blind eye? Would that have been acceptable? Sean Penn thinks so, so it must be true! [img]i/expressions/moon.gif[/img]

Smiles · 08-26-2003, 03:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by: reeds
Yes, it was the most sanitary, I wont disagree with that. Bottom line is innocent life was lost, and more and more of our soldiers are dying daily... War is not my answer

this thread has been so fun, i dare not ask what your answer was...

reeds · 08-26-2003, 05:07 PM

it wasnt "why dont we just bomb the sons of bitches", thats for sure..

u2sarajevo · 08-26-2003, 05:14 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by: reeds
it wasnt "why dont we just bomb the sons of bitches", thats for sure..

You have made that quite obvious. So what... you think we should have gone to the UN and have them draw up yet ANOTHER resolution that Saddam would laugh at for another 12 years? Or should we have showered him with gifts and flowers in hopes of him changing his evil ways for the good of the world? Let's give Peace a chance, right?

COLD SLAP OF REALITY WARNING!!!!!! - reeds, sometimes it doesn't work.