Why did the chicken cross the road?

[Psychedelic Fuzz]

Thought you guys would get a kick out of this.

Why did the chicken cross the road??

Kindergarten Teacher: To get to the other side.
Plato: For the greater good.
Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.
Timothy Leary: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.
Ronald Reagan: I forget.
Captain James T. Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
Hippocrates: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.
Andersen Consulting: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to tachieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes.
Martin Luther King, Jr.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free of cross roads without having their motives called into question.
Moses: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
Fox Mulder: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?
Richard Nixon: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.
Machiavelli: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
Jerry Seinfeld: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?"
Sigmund Freud: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
Bill Gates: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbooks. Of course, you also have to purchase Microsoft Road.
Oliver Stone: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"
Charles Darwin: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.
Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
Buddha: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
Ralph Waldo Emerson: The chicken did not cross the road .. it transcended it.
Ernest Hemmingway: To die. In the rain.

[Drbio]

Bill Clinton I did NOT have sexual relations with that chicken.


edit: couldn't resist.....[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif[/img]

[Usually Lurkin]

nice addition, Doc.

to be fair:
George W Bush That chimicken had good evidence of some nucular weapons. We think he might be terrst chickum.

[LRB]

Gary Larsen To get to the Far Side. [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]

[Chiwas]

What didn't the rooster cross the road?

Cause he wasn't a chicken.










(Just one month)

[img]i/expressions/musicnote.gif[/img] Urgent (Foreigners)

You're not shy, you get around
You wanna fly, don't want your feet on the court
You stay up, you won't come down
You wanna live, you wanna move to the sound of the whistle

Got fire in your veins
Burnin' hot but you don't make the trey
Your desire is insane
You can't stop until you do it again

But sometimes I wonder as I look in your eyes
Maybe you're thinking of some other team
But I know, yes I know, how to treat you right
That's why you call me in the middle of the offseason

You say it's urgent
So urgent, so oh oh urgent
Just wait and see
How urgent my b-bal can be
It's urgent

You play tricks on my mind Nellie
You're everywhere but you're so hard to beat
You're underdog or sentimental
You're so extreme, you can be so temperamental

But I'm not looking for a offseason that will last
I know what I need and I need it fast
Yeah, there's one thing in common that we both share
That's a need for for hoops anytime, anywhere

It gets so urgent
So urgent
You know it's urgent
I wanna tell you it's the same for me
So oh oh urgent
Just you wait and see
How urgent our season can be
It's urgent

You say it's urgent
Make it fast, make it urgent
Do it quick, do it urgent
Gotta rush, make it urgent
Want it quick
Urgent, urgent, emergency
Urgent, urgent, emergency
Urgent, urgent, emergency
Urgent, urgent, emergency
So urgent, emergency
Emer... emer... emer...
It's urgent [img]i/expressions/musicnote.gif[/img]

[Drbio]

Why did the farmer cross the road?







Don't read this if you don't want to see a gross answer.........
























Last chance..........turn away!












because his privates were stuck in the chicken. (Hey.....I warned you.)

[twelli]

The Colonel: To get some chicken wings at KFC

[samoan-maverick]

Why did the chicken cross the road?




Cuz there was 30 million more dollars on the other side. (beat that)

[mavsfanforever]

Kobe: The chicken kept saying NO and then ran towards the other side of the road. It was consentual though.

[Caliente]

What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in dirt, and then comes back?

A dirty double crosser.

[u2sarajevo]

Why did the skeleton cross the road?

He was stapled to the chicken.