Perk to soldiers

[FishForLunch]

NEW YORK (Reuters) -- The U.S. Army has long lured recruits with the slogan "Be All You Can Be," but now soldiers and their families can receive plastic surgery, including breast enlargements, on the taxpayers' dime.

The New Yorker magazine reports in its July 26th edition that members of all four branches of the U.S. military can get face-lifts, breast enlargements, liposuction and nose jobs for free -- something the military says helps surgeons practice their skills.

"Anyone wearing a uniform is eligible," Dr. Bob Lyons, chief of plastic surgery at Brooke Army Medical Center in San Antonio told the magazine, which said soldiers needed the approval of their commanding officers to get the time off.

Between 2000 and 2003, military doctors performed 496 breast enlargements and 1,361 liposuction surgeries on soldiers and their dependents, the magazine said.

The magazine quoted an Army spokeswoman as saying, "the surgeons have to have someone to practice on."

[Drbio]

I've been trying to come up with a good Kevlar boobie joke since I read this. Someone help me out.

[LRB]

Well I guess not in addition to handing out purple hearts, the services giving out plastic breasts.

[Usually Lurkin]

"by recycling scrap material from the manufacture of kevlar vests, we're able to create a sort of 'internal body armor' for some of these women. The net result is that these women look better, and are safer in the field. Furthermore, we're able to save the taxpayers the cost of external armor for these women as well as the cost of self-image therapy, " said an army spokesman. "with 1361 liposuction surgeries to date, we're also able to deply a lighter, quicker infantry, with programs to recycle byproduct as MREs" he continued.

[Evilmav2]

I think I'll refrain from saying anything about Lynndie England on this thread...

[Drbio]

You guys are amazing. Thanks. I needed the laughs.

[Usually Lurkin]

I can't believe people are actually taking them up on this.

Have ya'll ever been to the student barber for a cheap cut, or the massage school for a cheap massage?
Man, if a student barber, for 6 bucks, can make my hair stick out to the left in an odd manner, what happens when someone "practices" a free boob job?