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12-17-2002, 06:30 PM
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#1 |
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 3,373
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With all this talk about meaningful posting I've decided to start a thread that can truly help many members here at D-M.com. This may assist many of you in finding yourself.
Please add your favorite "you might be a redneck." Use Jeff Foxworthy's or make up your own. If you have questions, you might be a redneck. "If your mother doesn't bother to remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the state trooper to f*** off, you might be a redneck." |
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12-17-2002, 07:56 PM
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#2 |
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Platinum Member
Join Date: Dec 2001
Posts: 2,289
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Well I'm so un-redneck, I don't know any, let alone have favourites [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif[/img]
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Smile like you mean it |
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12-17-2002, 10:54 PM
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#3 |
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 3,373
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For the holiday season:
If you have ever given and/or received a 12 pack of beer for a Christmas gift, you might be a redneck. |
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12-18-2002, 12:01 AM
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#4 |
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Banned
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Nowhere
Posts: 40,924
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if your dad walks you to school because yo uare in the same grade.....
if you go to family reunions to meet girls..... if you mow the lawn and find a car...... if your porch collapses and kills more than two dogs..... |
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12-18-2002, 07:55 AM
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#5 |
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Platinum Member
Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 2,511
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if you are to drunk to fish.
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12-18-2002, 11:35 AM
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#6 |
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Minister of Soul
Join Date: May 2001
Location: on the Mothership
Posts: 4,893
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<< For the holiday season: If you have ever given and/or received a 12 pack of beer for a Christmas gift, you might be a redneck. >> doh.. [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif[/img] |
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12-18-2002, 03:19 PM
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#7 |
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Platinum Member
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 2,856
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Can a jewish person be a redneck?!
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12-18-2002, 03:21 PM
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#8 |
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: The Citadel
Posts: 4,227
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Since i'm black, it's hard for me to be one.
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The wind rises electric. She's soft and warm and almost weightless. Her perfume is sweet promise that brings tears to my eyes. I tell her that everything will be all right; that I'll save her from whatever she's scared and take her far far away. I tell her that I love her. The silencer makes a whisper of the gunshot. I hold her close until she's gone. I'll never know what she was running from. I'll cash her check in the morning. ~The Salesman |
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12-18-2002, 03:45 PM
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#9 |
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Member
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 178
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If you've ever gone to the VD clinic to hit on women... you might be a redneck.
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Thanks for stopping by. |
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12-18-2002, 03:57 PM
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#10 |
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 5,832
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<< Since i'm black, it's hard for me to be one. >> If you are Charlie Pride..... you might be a redneck.
__________________
At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul. A fool's paradise is a wise man's hell. – Thomas Fuller |
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12-18-2002, 04:48 PM
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#11 |
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 3,373
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If you can burp the entire chorus of Jingle Bells
You might be a redneck. |
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12-18-2002, 04:53 PM
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#12 |
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Patient # 312412
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Asylum For Video Game Detox
Posts: 5,195
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If you think the Nutcracker is something you did off the high dive....
If someone yells Hoe Down, and your girlfriend hits the floor..... |
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12-19-2002, 03:35 PM
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#13 |
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 3,373
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If you leave pickled eggs and beer out for Santa Claus...
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12-19-2002, 09:37 PM
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#14 |
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Banned
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Nowhere
Posts: 40,924
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Hey! What's wrong with picled eggs and beer for Santa? And Rob...she only ducked...she did not hit the floor. [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]
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12-19-2002, 10:06 PM
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#15 |
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 3,373
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If your underwear doubles as your swimming suit...
Evilmav?...check out the pictures thread. [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif[/img] |
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12-20-2002, 04:14 PM
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#16 |
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Guru
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 17,057
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If Redman chewing tobacco regularly sends you a Christmas card, you might be a redneck.
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Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. |
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12-20-2002, 05:11 PM
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#17 |
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Feb 2002
Posts: 8,509
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You might be a redneck if:
...you have a pair of Sunday-best overalls, and a dress pair of sneakers. ...you have a spittoon mounted on your dashboard. |
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12-20-2002, 05:18 PM
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#18 |
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 3,373
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If you have ever misspelled anything in Christmas lights...
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12-20-2002, 05:21 PM
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#19 |
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Guru
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 17,057
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<< If you have ever misspelled anything in Christmas lights... >> And you don't notice til August
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Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. |
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12-22-2002, 07:00 PM
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#20 |
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 3,373
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If you've ever worn a tube top to a wedding...
(or to the store to do your xmas shopping, when it's in the 50's outside) |
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12-22-2002, 07:31 PM
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#21 |
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Guru
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 17,057
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...if you had your wedding reception at the bowling alley.
__________________
Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. |
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12-23-2002, 01:47 PM
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#22 |
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Platinum Member
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 2,856
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If you could'nt spell your own name 'till the age of 29.
If you think ROMANINA is a way to cook a stake. |
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12-23-2002, 01:49 PM
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#23 |
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Platinum Member
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 2,856
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should have been ROMANIA,so i kinda ruined it,maybe it would'nt have got a few lol' or haha' anyway,but im happy with my joke so ease out fool!
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12-23-2002, 01:54 PM
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#24 |
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Guru
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 17,057
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...if you've ever used a road sign for target practice.
__________________
Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. |
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12-23-2002, 02:54 PM
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#25 |
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 3,373
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If you prefer car keys to Q-Tips...
If people often stop at your house mistaken that you're having a garage sale... If you have more than 3 relatives named Bubba or Junior... If the officer asks to see your id and you show him your belt buckle... |
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12-23-2002, 03:03 PM
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#26 |
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Guru
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 17,057
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...if you don't get the saying "a tie is like kissing your sister".
__________________
Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. |
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12-23-2002, 04:51 PM
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#27 |
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Platinum Member
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 2,856
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southern,your too good at this,you sure you arent too close to the subject?
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12-23-2002, 06:14 PM
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#28 |
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Feb 2002
Posts: 8,509
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..if you plan a vacation to Austria and hope to see kangaroos.
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01-26-2003, 06:25 PM
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#29 |
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Guru
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 17,057
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...if your home town and population were every mentioned on HeeHaw.
__________________
Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. |
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07-13-2003, 11:42 PM
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#30 |
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 3,373
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You might be a redneck....
bump...
If you refer to 5th grade as your senior year. If you think your green fees include hunting priviledges. You think a Quarter Horse is a ride in front of Wal-mart. Your high school basketball game got rained out. |
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